Like all my life experiences, intelligence, and personality will boil down to the first ten minutes. Try as I might, any impression I made at you will always come back to those tedious minutes.
I don't remember when, I don't remember why, but within the last couple years a good friend of mine said I was "awkward." It wasn't meant as a mean statement, but simply, just that-- a statement. At first, I was taken back, could I really be socially inept? I always referred to myself as friendly -- and sure, insecure -- but never awkward.
Other people were awkward, I could point them out in a crowd. Did I have some weird tendencies or say strange things that made people uncomfortable? I guess sometimes I do share unnecessary or boring information. Maybe people think I say too much and it's difficult for me to distinguish a professional versus private self.
I feel like a festering sore people just stare at, wondering how it got so bad. Insecurities eat me from the inside, my anxiety boils over, and I need to tell them I am awkward to perhaps, give relief (to me?) from the expectations and first impressions.